To quoque, Mr. Ezzo
Me and taramasalata...dangerous. One of my favorite snacks that I enjoy sparingly. I really love Nabeels and encourage you to order anything on their menu or shop. I used to live a block away and think I must have put his kid through college with my taramasalata and falafel habit.OK, so in my affair with taramasalata, I visit my blogging buddy Tulip Girl, who has a thought provoking post. Because I'm a mom with prepetually small children, and am active in a conservative church, and in Christian child-training circles I'm no stranger to the work of Mr. and Mrs. Ezzo, about whom she writes. In my library I have the 1993 edition of Preparation for Parenting, cassette tapes and all, and another edition of the secular Babywise, and Reaching the Heart of Your Teen. That the breastfeeding advice, at least in the earlier editions, is dubious at best, I'm not surprised by the criticism of the material, but also know that criticism generates discussion, gives you exposure and in turn, which sells books. Which is good if you write books.
I was on a Christian parenting bulletin board with Mrs. Ezzo for a few years, a few years ago, and found her to be consistently kind, empathetic & compassionate. I liked her a lot. Knowing I was a Christian childbirth educator she kindly sent me a review copy of her book on childbirth. (Which I found to be ok, but not really different, or better than, other books on the market.)
So, I'm enjoying my taramasalata and pondering what Tulip Girl has to say. I found myself surfing over here.
I've always been a square peg in a world of round holes and over the past years have begun to be cool with that, to embrace the quirkiness, actually. I'm kind of an anamoly in that I'm a card carrying leader in La Leche League and have been for well over a decade. I'm also a staunch child-trainer who believes in teaching first-time obedience to toddlers. I also spend a lot of time with my children, genuinely love being in their company, and they know the depth of my love and affection for them.
Of course the crux of the Ezzo's appeal is that to mother your baby by feeding when you see hunger cues (their definition of demand-feeding is extreme -- I know of no one who does this!) means that one buys into humanistic parenting and is bound to raise stinking little brats who grow into juvenile delinquents who wind up in jail for setting church fires. They construe the advice of juvenile product manufacturers (anyone see a conflict of interest here?) into an absolute prohibition against baby sleeping with parents.
While I have more in common than not with the Ezzos, I find it's a leap of the post hoc ergo propter hoc variety to claim that failure to follow a feeding schedule in infancy therefore condemns the poor baby to all manner of brathood. Albeit, for many moms (busy ones, babies with low weight gain, overactive milk ejection) a flexible feeding routine can be beneficial. I've used them myself and am not opposed to them.
Granted, I've known plenty of parents, in church, in LLL, and otherwise who are raising nothing but stinking, selfish, little brats. I also know plenty of parents, in LLL, in church and otherwise who are raising bright, articulate, respectful offspring. I know people who love the Ezzo's material who have wonderful children, and a couple of others whose babies are skinny and listless (but the kids are obedient).
I'll grant if you come to my breastfeeding support meeting you won't encounter garbage like this
Mothers may not understand that when they go to the La Leche League for breastfeeding advice, they are getting that advice mixed with a world-view built on attachment parenting - complete with all the philosophical underpinnings of that philosophy, including the birth trauma theory and permissive, non-conflict parenting discipline strategies.
Bottom line, both the world and Christians seem to need a LOT of help in the child-training department. Parents shouldn't be afraid to say "no," to use the rod, to teach them work, to use judgment in mothering. I grasp this -- I'm a mom of many kids and know how hard it is to get stuff done! Still, my babies are tiny for such a short time I just enjoy them and don't worry that they are little sinners out to manipulate me. Parents don't need to bargain, cajole, bribe, shame, hit in anger, or yell at their children.
I've met some of my dearest friends through parenting classes using the Ezzo's materials. Some even call me for breastfeeding support. But this -- I chalk it up to keeping this old round-and-round alive, for it sells books. But I like Elizabeth's stuff out there as much as anything in the bookstore.
Labels: faith, family living
Posted by greasy joan at 4/25/2006
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2 Comments:
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Susanna said...
You know what? I get so lost with all this 'technical talk'.I mean, philisophical underpinnings and trauma theory etc? Call me dumb, but I went to a breast feeding support group which did just that, supported me to breast feed for as long as I could! I very much agree that christians as well as non christians need some serious help in child rearing. Why? because they have hook line and sinker swallowed the secular view on parenting, which as far as I can see consists of - give you child whatever they want whenever they want it-don't discipline them-respect them and reason all your requests to them-..........erm...any wonder there are such major problems??!!! Nope, thought not! I have never yet read a book on parentingbut by God's grace, the example of others and the guidance of scripture, I hope i am doing the best job I can.
3:56 PM
Fact- babies are born sinners
Fact- Only Christ Jesus can work in them and bring salvation.
Fact- This is not a cop out for parents..they have serious responsibilities in child rearing. Ok, going way off beam here aren't I? Time for bed I think.
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What a great, balanced post. While I find it easy to criticize the Ezzo's methods and teachings, I can appreciate the generous words of someone who knows them better than I.
9:05 PMThanks, Anne.
~Karen~
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